Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
