Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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