What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
