The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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