Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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