I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
