i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
