and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
