You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
