i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
