marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
