Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's the barista slut.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
