Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
