she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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