sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
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I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?