Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
