Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!

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  (248): Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something! http://tfl.nu/qltt
  Replies (14) Good night (834) Bad night (1807)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.

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  (503): I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best. http://tfl.nu/fuew
  Replies (15) Good night (4692) Bad night (1152)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

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  (701): you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends? http://tfl.nu/lhmx
  Replies (8) Good night (3157) Bad night (1343)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser

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  (336): I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser http://tfl.nu/rv8v
  Replies (5) Good night (3689) Bad night (1266)
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  (760): View more from California

  She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.

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  (760): She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid. http://tfl.nu/c9kh
  Replies (3) Good night (600) Bad night (1407)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.

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  (615): We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video. http://tfl.nu/j3gr
  Replies (3) Good night (1210) Bad night (526)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.

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  (310): Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping. http://tfl.nu/k0y4
  Replies (16) Good night (1582) Bad night (776)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.

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  (443): i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk. http://tfl.nu/ry9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1220) Bad night (459)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...

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  (510): I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant... http://tfl.nu/doz4
  Replies (17) Good night (622) Bad night (1837)
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  (909): View more from California

  I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.

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  (909): I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit. http://tfl.nu/gsje
  Replies (5) Good night (599) Bad night (1499)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!

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  (402): WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?! http://tfl.nu/drpl
  Replies (21) Good night (1573) Bad night (414)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.

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  (540): I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day. http://tfl.nu/r0vt
  Replies (6) Good night (1161) Bad night (414)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.

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  (443): I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon. http://tfl.nu/atl9
  Replies (10) Good night (2045) Bad night (548)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.

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  (416): I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am. http://tfl.nu/zlza
  Replies (18) Good night (516) Bad night (857)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  wanna come over? I have movies.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  sure, what movies

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  porn or disney, your choice

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  (717): wanna come over? I have movies. (814): sure, what movies (717): porn or disney, your choice http://tfl.nu/qsvh
  Replies (4) Good night (1159) Bad night (283)

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