Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half