I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That's intense
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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