he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
