I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
