It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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