Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
