I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
