You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
