He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
