but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
