we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
