She is in my trunk
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
