I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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