new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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