Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
