keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
