happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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