you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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