9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
