Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
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I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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