Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
don't judge my taste in strippers
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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