just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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