Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
