Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
