I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
