so explain again why im purple
no
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I want to be your penis for a week.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
