I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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