I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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