just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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