are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
