the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize