You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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