You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
