Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
