Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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