That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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