Ambien. No doubt about it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
