sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
