You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
