considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
