Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
