Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
no, he came in my armpit
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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