I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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