I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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