If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
