anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
