I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
