i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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