Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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