and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
