i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
