chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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