How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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